GMA’s Hurtin’ Right Now !

“This is where former President Arroyo now Pampanga Representative is jailed. So privileged. If I am convicted of a crime and this is where the court will detain me, I would very much appreciate it! Imagine the cost of this prison cell is Php.50,000.00 per day – on top of you can order your choice of food and drinks. Tsk! Former President Estrada was detained in government hospital during his days of imprisonment why not XPGMA?”

I feel bad for Arroyo right now. You want to know why?

Because she is now under hospital arrest at St. Luke’s Medical Center.

It’ s the hospital where it’s legacy of excellence surpasses all expectations. For over a century, St. Luke’s superior brand of healthcare service has made it truly world class.

With astounding success anchored on five pillars of expertise-expert doctors, state-of-the-art technology, guaranteed patient safety, excellent success rate and passionate customer service, St Luke’s Medical Center is the first hospital in the country to be accredited by the Joint Commission International (JCI) but discredited by the Philippine Medical Association (PMA).

With its undisputed leadership in virtually all medical specialties, including cardiovascular medicine, neurology and neurosurgery, cancer, ophthalmology, and digestive and liver diseases,  and other specialties except bone biopsy, St Luke’s Medical Center brings its commitment to the south as it opened another modern facility at the Fort Bonifacio Global City.

St. Luke’s continuous passion for healthcare innovation makes it the best hospital in the Philippines and the first choice of medical and health-related practitioners and patients for executive check-ups, intent parathyroid hormone operation, halo head brace support and Minerva vest installation, resting place after a denial of flight at the airport, and lifetime hospital arrest.

If you think GMA is hurting right now, just take a look at the Presidential Suite where she is staying !

Sad to say, she is not recuperating and resting in total comfort!

St. Luke’s Presidential Suite, located in one of the most private sections of the hospital building, is the answer to the most discriminating of clients who wants to hide from the cameras of the TV, radio and newspaper networks.

Beautiful interiors match the highest quality of hospital equipment, again there is none for bone biopsy, installed in the Presidential Suite.

It is a showcase of uncompromising quality in patient accommodations and tele-drama fascinations.

The large and airy patient’s room comes with its own toilet and bath with hot and cold water plus a Jacuzzi. She is definitely in pain every time she takes a bath and scrubs off all that “libag” from wearing  that stupid-looking contraption.

There is a 42-inch plasma TV , and  DVD and VHS players.  She can’t help to let out banshee-like screams every time she watches news of how people are taking no pity of her in interviews at TV Patrol and 24 Oras. She also cried in agony after finding out the only VHS (there’s still a VHS?) and DVDs available in the room are all about the overthrowing of Marcos, and Cory Aquino’s  People Power EDSA 1.

To accommodate family and guests without sacrificing privacy, a spacious living and dining area separates the patient’s room. This made Arroyo fall down to her knees because it was frustrating that the family could not be completed since Mikee and his wife are out of the country.

Fortunately, there are some good news.

There’s another toilet and bath for his husband Mike who needs to have his own due to excessive farting because of eating all day due to worry, a safety deposit box to hide all their family jewels not including Atty. Ferdinand Topacio’s, and a kitchen area complete with a microwave oven, refrigerator, coffeemaker and airpot for quick meals, snacks and refreshments during the wee hours of the night so that the doctors, nurses, and hospital management won’t find out they are not really skipping meals, are included for their convenience.

To ensure that communication with business associates remains uninterrupted and hassle-free, the Presidential Suite provides a fax machine, computer with email and internet access, direct and local telephone services. She would have jumped for joy, but then the management soon informed them that all communications were now being wire-tapped, screened, and recorded by the SPD PNP during their hospital arrest.

A selective menu that caters to special dining preferences and a private butler service are at the patient’s disposal. However, it totally ruined her day upon learning that the chef could only prepare meals up to a group of 20, and limited to Php 50,000 per head per day. She said she is now missing her fine dining days with her gang of Representathieves.

St. Luke’s Medical Center is an independent non-stock, non-profit, nonsectarian charitable corporation governed by a Board of Trustees whose members do not receive nor seek remuneration, perks, or privileges. However, gifts and token of appreciations in whatever form are allowed during Christmas, birthdays, and other special occasions.

Every peso earned reverts to the hospital and is invested to provide the best medical facilities and expertise, ….again except for bone biopsy,….. and fund charity and research programs (remember to fund research and train specialists for bone biopsy procedures).

They are recognized for excellence in many areas, particularly for our accomplishments in patient care, medical expertise, research, and technology….again, except for bone biopsy.

They invite you to join them in building up the resources for improving healthcare for thousands of families. Help create a healthier future for the people who need their services as they now begin to lay the path towards learning how to perform bone biopsy for former Presidents and other political personalities who refuse to go to a detention cell.

Disclaimer:  This a Mockumentary. Photos and some words were copied from the hospital’s website but were “enhanced” just for the fun of it.

If you have any objection, just send me a message or email. Extending the middle finger is not necessary.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Unanimously
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 11:59:29

    You are a troll talaga. I like your style of writing…. LOL ROTF…. it’s point blank but witty and funny….

    Reply

  2. Quyen Wershey
    Dec 11, 2011 @ 06:41:31

    Keep functioning ,terrific job!

    Reply

  3. invest liberty reserve
    Dec 25, 2011 @ 00:52:28

    I got what you mean, thanks for swing up. Woh I am pleased to hit this website finished google. Thanks For Share GMA’s Hurtin’ Right Now ! Troll Alert !.

    Reply

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