Chokoleit Wits Part 3

POLYGAMOUS POLITICS

He also takes time to comment on whats hot on the news. He said the recent turnabouts among political parties are amusing but tiring so he would like to lighten it up a bit with some of his “Twiticissms”.

“BREAKING NEWS: Breaking rules is breaking the law. Give us a break! This is Sokoleyt Sokulit, Breaking the Ice!”

“So what else is new? Pati linyang ‘to gasgas na rin. Let me rephrase, who else knew? Mali ba? Or where else is now? Tama ba? Ewaaan! Lamonayan!☺”

“Nakakapagod pakinggan mga kontra-banat-depensa bawat partido Re: Arroyo’s Arrest. Idaan ko na lang sa komentong komedya. Circus Carnival, Atbp.”

GMA’S LOSS OF APPETITE

“GMA’s loss of appetite, stress, depression bcoz of last week’s turn of events. Oweeh sino kaya ang gaganahan kumain sa sinapit nya, aber?”

ATTY FERDINAND TOPACIO

“Itong si Topacio may topak. Ano naman kinalaman ng Hacienda Luisita sa kaganapan? Wag mo kami iligaw. NAIA at St. Lukes Global ang location.”

“Wag husgahan ng taumbayan ng trial by publicity, kaw nga ‘to pa-interview2 jan sa media. Ilayo nyo yan si Topacio, babay*gan ko yan! Charot!”

“Kung ano-ano na pinagsasabi ni Topacio, napaghahalatang nagpapanic kaiisip-remedyo. Bumubula na kili-kili sa pawis. Maalat na itlog mo! L☺L!”

“Motto: ” Don’t count the EGG yet until you bury the hatchet”. – Unknown Testicles. ☹”

“We don’t need your EGO, neither your EGG Topacio. Keep it, don’t break it! L☺L!”

MIDAS MARQUEZ

“Had SC’s MARQUEZ who vouched for his testicles, I would gladly volunteer to be the caretaker. Now Re: TOPACIO’S? Well, Finders Keeper. ☺☹”

“Aber mga beki, who wouldn’t want to Touch MIDAS’ Cr*tch? Wag nga kayo dyan umano-ano, nakunakunakunaku! Tseeh! LOL! ☺

In fairness to Topacio’s testicles, it can be of use on easter egg hunting contest. Though, if I find it, I’ll put it back…to rest. ☺☹”

Di baleng ma-contempt of court, kung na-tempt i-touch si MIDAS Marquez. Aba, di ka a-attempt I-court siya, Victoria?☺ #Charotnamaykemelatik

GMA’S MUGSHOTS

“I just don’t get bakit di pwede maisapubliko mugshots ni GMA? Ano pwede, cartographic sketch? Ako nga piniktyuran nun, dinelete din, Hmmp! ☹”

“Ganyang di pala pwedeng makita ng naka-neck brace and all, bat di na lang ginawang stand-in/double ni GMA si Robocop! Hmmp ulit! ☹”

“Hindi authentic yung mugshots ni GMA na kumakalat sa internet. Dahil ang original, sa 1 x 1 na ID size whole body na. Charoooot! ☺”

CORONA’S IMPEACHMENT

Like a reigning beauty queen dethroned, mukhang nanganganib ang Supremo matanggalan ng Corona.♛☻

“Let no one mistake my silence as a sign of weakness”, Corona quoted as saying. So, is this a sign of color of whom he honors? Blues clues?☻”

“The representatives who voted Corona not to be “in peach’, must be of same traces of color, shady by nature.☺☻☹”

“Kapag na COROtNA yan, may matatamaan, ARROYkO naman.☺☹”

“Let no one mistake my silence as a sign for weakness”Corona said early this morning. It’s an impeachment signed by lower reps this evening.

“The Crowning Glory of Justice, Have Mercy. ♔☹ ☒”

“Where GMA succeeded in eluding impeachment, she failed in her attempt to flee the country. Now, the lost crown of glory , pleads for mercy.”

“Don’t judge the book by it’s cover. Judge the judge until off the hook or His over – Juan dela Cruz on Corona’s impeachment trial.”

“Now Showing at Sine Central – “Koronang Itim” Now On Trial – “Coronang Im-Peach” in Black and White print.”

“O sya sya, siesta time nga di ba, hayaan ng magpiyesta ang media. Lacierda, kaw na bahala. Samantala, sa senado na mo na yan ingawa Corona.”

PNOY’S TIRADE ON CORONA

“Si PNOy, Presidente halal ng taumbayan. Tinalaga ka sa pwesto ng dating Presidente na diumano nandaya. Sino naghari-harian, ang may Corona?”

“Masakit ulo ko para himay-himayin pa huridikatura at lehislatibo na yan? bumalik na lang sila sa pasko, may iba pang kausap ako kamo! LOL!”

“oh eh di kayo na bahala jan kay CORONA. Basta sure ako nasa CARONIA loyalty ko pag nagpapamanicure-pedicure ako! hmmp! LOL!”

“There are no permanent enemies, only permanent interest. There are no permanent position, only permanent opposition. LOL.zzZz ….zzZ”

 

ON ARROYO’S REQUEST FOR FLIGHT

“Comelec is the new immigration dept. SC is the new travel agency. RTC is the new airline company.”

“Final Destination: The Flight of the Fear Factor – Now Waiting!!! ☹”

“Bonus Feature: Guardiana Jones and The Raiders of Topacio’s Lost Testicles. ☹”

“Magmanman.. Baka di nyo namalayan, nakasakay na ang binabantayan bilang luggage o hand carry sa liit nyang yun, di nyo namataan. Charooot!”

“GMA travels LIGHT. Ex-FG MA is an excess baggage himself already…it ain’t easy. ☺☹”

“Basta isipin natin makaalis man sila departing from NINOY AQUINO INT’L Airport, to arrive in DIOSDADO MACAPAGAL Airport (Clark Pampanga)L☺L!”

 

GMA’S WARRANT OF ARREST

“GMA on her Warrant of Arrest: “I am sorry, I want to rest!” (strictly no visitors allowed) ☹”

“GMA believes in the saying, “do what u can today, tomorrow is another day.” Her wish is for her warrant of arrest to be served…,someday.☺☹”

“Erap served his house arrest with humility. If ever, GMA should serve her hospital arrest, with hospitality. TULOY PO KAYO. ☺”

“SCORE Board: GMA naka-ISA, sa itlog ni Topacio nagmula. LEILA de naka-LIMA, sa mga huradong nabura nya. It’s Showtime! Party! Party!☺”

“Pag yang warrant of arrest eh may TRO na naman naku, ako na mismo aalis ng bansa! (Eh meron naman interesado magbigay ng HDO saken?) L☺L!”

“Ano ba daw ang HDO? Depende, kung lugar Hagayan De Oro, Hanco De Oro kung interesado, magwi-withdraw ako! Bwahahahawaleeey! ☺”

“Filipino hospitality as seen. After serving presidency, a warrant of arrest is hospitably served to an impatient hospitalized & hostile GMA.”

“TRO- The “Temporary Restraining Order” then, is now “Travel Rerouting Obsolete!” (No consideration while in motion) ☺☹”

“Nothing beats a top rating soap opera than a top ranking real life drama simulcast in TWO (2) but in GMA (7) & in 5(de LIMA) as well. ☺☺☺”

“Sa inaasahang TRO ng SC sa inilabas ng DOJ na HDO, ginantimpalaan ng RTC pasay ang luhaang pasan na TKO ang kanyang napala. TC! BTW,GBU GMA”

“Sa pagtatapos ng 100DaysToHeaven ni Madam Anna, ipapasa ng tagabantay misyon sa tagasundo kay Madam GMA sa teleseldang DragMeToCell Charoot!”

“The SCARE in us has ended. Their THREAT just started. Electoral SABOTAGE, our final answer. ‘YOU’ are the BOMB!☆☺☆”

ON GMA’S PICTURE WITH STEEL BRACES AND MINERVA VEST SUPPORT

“The ‘mugshot’ taken with all the steel braces on real intention was for sympathy not a steel detention in apathy. ☹”

“With a neck brace, a shoulder support & all of those, please spare hand-cuff for GMA’s day in court when she swears her “not guilty” plea.☹”

“Using a wheelchair, GMA miscalculated her steps to a false move. Si Erap tuhod ininda noon, paika-ika lumakad nasa Singapore na nga ngayon!”

“Erap, in SG now to play Casino? And so? Go & spin the wheels of fortune while the wheels of justice is making a big turn this time. Goodluck”

 

GMA’S TRANSFER FROM SLMC TO VMMC

Just like the rest of us, he was also on constant watch when GMA was supposed to be transferred to the Veterans Memorial Medical Center in Quezon City all the way from the St. Luke’s Medical Center in Taguig:

“Ginising ng gutom. Anobanamanayaan?! di pa rin tapos paglipat?Kung sa C5 may shuttle sa Market! Market!, sa Edsa may MRT papuntang SM North!”

“Kase nga bat sa VMMC eh Littel girl nga, bat di sa CHildrens Hospital? tsaka takot mga bata sa ingay ng chopper, gusto kase nila bump cars!”

“Bakit nga naman kase chopper pinipilit ng PNP, hindi naman siya Pinoy Junior Master Chef finalist. Charoooooooot!!!”

“Paglipat pa lang, 48 years na. tamang-tama kasama paglilitis, abutin sila ng bagyong milenyo.”

“Lipat ng ibang ospital, inabit ng siyam-siyam. Lipad sana ng ibang bansa, mabilis pa sa alas kwatro.”

“Kaya umuulan, nakalimutang mag alay ng itlog ni Topacio na inorasyunan at sinayawan ng sundance sa kalsada kaya madulas ang daan.”

“Ganyang nagmamadali na kunwari sila at naiinip, bat di gawin hagad at mauna sa daan at pumutak ng kanyang busina si HORN?”

“Pinapalitan ng madalian ang tiles na madulas sa banyo ng VMMC, baka daw kase “they will put the little girl to slip”

“Nakakalokaaaah! Sa paglipat ng ospital may nalalaman silang HOLD DEPARTURE ORDER if CHOPPER is use for TRANSFER.”

“Ipagpalagay natin “little girl” pa nga yan, sa haba at tagal ng prosesong pinagdaanan inabutan na regla’tinagusan na malamang yan.”

“Ang dahilan ayaw ng chopper ng little girl para umakyat pa sa helipad para sumakay, may “fear of height/s” daw kase.”

“May tantrums at di daw aalis ang little girl sa St Lukes, unless guaranteed na nasa VMMC na ang Goin’ Bulilit cast as per her request.”

“Isa pa sa request ng lil girl ang 4 na bagets sa Ikaw ang Pag Ibig, eh may taping so ang pinapunta ang tagasundo sa100days and counting…..”

“Baka masyadong minamadali ngPNP taposdi pa kumpleto ang kwartong lilipatan ha. May walker at crib na ba sa nursery room ng lil gurl?”

“Re: Patients transfer, as per St.Luke’s findings she is suffering from cause of delay.”

“Ang bawat kapangyarihan na ipinagkaloob ay para sa kabutihan. Mawawalan ito ng bisa kapag ginamit sa kasamaan. Ang Alamat ng Nunong Nunal.☺☹”

“While watching the transfer with the traffic, rains and all, ipod’s playing Celebration and All Night Long. Talk about musical scoring.☺”

“Finally, nakarating at nailipat din. Akala ko kase, ang susunod na palusot nila, naabutan ng color coding.☺☹”

“Bakit nga ba sa Veteran’s MMC? Kase, beterana na sa larangan ng salamangka o walking distance sa Heart, Lung at Childrens Hospital na sya?”

“At dahil dyan, i can put myself back to sleep sinisiguro lang naman naihatid ng school bus sa kanyang classroom ang li’l girl the explorer.”

“Nunal pa man, inulan na ng batikos. hanggang ngayon sa paglipat-hatid, inulan pa rin buong maghapon.”

“Once upon a time, a little girl in the palace lived happily….until after today.”

“and #nowplaying Gloria Gaynor and Gloria Estefan singing Laura Brannigan’s hit, “GLORIA”!”

“Gloria in Excessive Chaos.”

“Natuwa si Glorious ng malamang ang lugar katabi ng VMMC ay PAG-ASA. Ngunit nalungkot din agad ng narinig kasunod na daan ay BAGO-BANTAY.”

“After Erap had his time, it’s GMA’s turn now at the VMMC, the official hospital of former phil. preso-dents. Totoo ngang, BILOG ang MUNDO!”

 

GMA’S REQUEST FOR LAPTOP AND CELLPHONES

“Payag daw ang DOJ gumamit si GMA ng laptop pero friendster at farmville lang pwede. Pag CELLphone gamit, kailangan nasa loob siya ng CELL.☺☹”

“Government Warning: Laptop use and cellphone abuse causes radiation and is very DANGEROUS to your HEALTH. Please pray the rosary.”

“Ganyang “hospital arrest”, dapat dextrose at catither ang ipagamit. Cellphone at laptop pala gusto, umapela sila ng “call center arrest”.☺☹”

“#TVPatrol:”Payag ba kayo may cellphone n laptop si GMA nasa hospital arrest? Helllo Garci, pumayag ba isapubliko mugshots nya? I am sorry.☹”

“May nagregalo daw kay GMA ng ipad2 para di siya mainip at may mapaglibangan. Sabi nya kay Topacio na gustong ipa-JAIL BREAK ito. Lagot! LOL!”

PUT THE LITTLE GIRL TO SLEEP

“Put The Little Girl To Sleep? tapos ano? Let Her Slip Away? In your dreams! UPNEXT: Patayin Sa Sindak Ang Pandakekak: Masyokot Ang Kurakot!☹”

Part 4 na ang susunod!

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