KFC Cheese Top Burger: The Dumbest Idea Ever

KFC Philippines is offering something called the “Cheese Top Burger,” a fried chicken patty sandwich with garlic Parmesan dressing and a slice of cheese melted atop the bun. They boast that it is the first and only cheese topped bun burger.

Their Facebook page advertised it this way:

“Have you tried our latest buzz-worthy sandwich? Grab the Streetwise Cheese Top Burger now and see it for yourself! Take a bite and discover the difference that cheese-baked bread makes. It’s mess-free, cheesy, and definitely so good. But don’t take our word for it. Be the judge of its taste and share with us your experience. Enjoy it now for only P50 with drink! The only thing crazier is not trying it.”

The only thing crazier is dunking a drumstick on your coke. Oh, they did that already on a TV spoof.

There is another thing crazier, in fact it’s craziest: falling for this goof trap.

Has KFC Philippines gone off the deep end? Don’t they get it why they’re the first one to ever put the cheese on top of a burger? Think something along the lines of “messy” and “illogical”! Why mess your hands eating this when you can conveniently put the cheese between the buns?

It’s a strange concept in terms of thinking outside the box. The buns are originally designed to serve as sort of the clamp that holds all the yummy stuff in. When you put the cheese on top, it would defeat the purpose of the buns. We are also oriented to eat a burger by holding the two buns, unlike how we hold a cupcake. Eating a burger is technically a bit messy. Adding cheese on top would seem to make it more messier. Though I think the purpose of the new idea is just so they can say that there’s a new way in eating a KFC burger, and here’s a new spin to finger-licking good.

Groundbreaking? More like stupid. This one just sucks! Just to claim they did it first but the idea is really retarded! Has KFC Philippines R&D department ran out of idea’s? As much as I love KFC, the person who thought of this is sick in the head.  Please fire the Marketing Manager or Product Manager who approved of this… and tell them to stop smoking weed!!!

From a marketer’s POV, this is genius. Not! This is a totally lame and insane marketing move by KFC! Couldn’t get any worse! Bring back Double Down Fully Loaded instead!

“Hey guys! Let’s put the cheese on the outside of the burger! That’ll make it taste different. Right?”

The traditional “puto” had this original idea and it only works on “puto”. Puto is the steamed Filipino rice cake shaped like an American muffin. There is also a local pastry here called “chisbred” (cheesebread). It’s a soft bread with a slice of cheese on top of it, sometimes sprinkled with sugar. It sells quite well with local bakeshops so they probably thought of trying it.

I bought one and had thought to put the cheese back inside the burger after one bite, because the cheese would get stuck in my teeth when I bit it. But that was probably because it was still hot. The cheese shouldn’t get on your hands. It’s supposed to be solid enough and not gooey like what Jimmy Kimmel’s mock commercial below shows. Also processed cheese gets a plastic-like skin once it’s exposed to room temperature, so holding it would be easy as holding a sandwich wrapped in saran wrap.

Idiots. How about on your next burger idea, put the patty on top, the cheese on bottom and the bun on the side and then wrap it in a condom. Hey, why don’t you try to put the a bun in the middle of two patty’s… or wrap the burger in lettuce and tie it with a strip of bacon… Or maybe dip the whole burger into ketchup! Endless ideas!

They are obviously running out of ideas selling the same fast-food over and over again. Worst is that this is only available in the Philippines so it somehow made our country look awful.

Come on, KFC Philippines guys! This is not the same as Superman wearing his brief outside his costume. I would hate it really bad if next time we will see the burger bun as the filing instead and the cheese as the bun.. now that’s fully retarded!

I am also not convinced why the burger is called “Streetwise.” Are they referring to the 50 pesos price?  I guess since they want you to feel like it’s something you can buy on the street, meaning it’s cheap. Don’t ask the reasoning. Someone else who’s more in touch with the implied context tried to explain that to me, though I don’t get it either.

In this new age of endless sandwich variations, the chicken-fried chain has truly outdone itself. Not!

Scumbag Streetwise Cheese Top Booger!!

As with every dumb idea, public scrutiny, especially online, would surely follow.

Jimmy Kimmel Live has parodied Kentucky Fried Chicken Philippines’ Cheese Top Burger and has called the latest hamburger offering as dumb and illogical. 9GAG has also a new humor entry on its list poking fun on the burger idea. memebase has released a few memes dedicated to the cheese top burger. KFC Philippines has also been getting heat as their product “memefied” variations  goes viral on Facebook, Twitter and other social medias earning the scrutiny and sarcasm of netizens commenting it’s “the dumbest idea ever”, “the most retarded idea of all time”, and “are they going to put the lettuce and tomatoes on top of the bun next?”

But if you haven’t tasted the cheese top burger yet. Meh.

Go try it before knocking it. Relying solely on media criticisms without any personal investigation is bleh.

Nom nom nom until you puke!

“I would like to think that this new and amusing value meal served as some sort of an unsolicited comic relief to our very own circus of politics  and the vast array of flashy theatrics of showbizness. Needless to say, the whole concept of rearranging a burger in the guise of making a new value meal is, ultimately, pointless.”

Then again, Filipinos have a knack for the pointless. I am sure that this bad publicity of a marketing epic fail would still take us out of our comfy homes or from our busy work schedules, and curiosity would make us try out this absurdity, the same manner on how majority of us voted during elections. Double face palm!

“Just like how the pointless Cheese Top Burger is starting to penetrate the consumer market, we Filipinos let pointless things to invade our lives, because somehow, we manage to give them value. We manage to make them important in our lives. The laws of economics ring true; the supply is more or less an accurate reflection of what people demand. Given the pointless nature of many things existing in the Philippines, nothing more needs to be said in behalf of the demand side.”

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. låna 3000 snabbt
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 12:46:46

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